how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize