I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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