omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
