this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
