i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
