Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
