Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
