That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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