One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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