quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
