He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
