i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
