We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
