Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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