I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
