Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
