Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
