Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
