Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize