You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I had to cum in my sink.
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