kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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