I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
