Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
