areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
