She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
