Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How does it feel to date your dad?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
