and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
