we're blogging at a bar
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
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