Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
