U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
