Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
zippers are such a cool invention
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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