I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
