You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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