do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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