Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Rumble strips road head = magical
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
