i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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