apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize