That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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