Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
