Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
