I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
