she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize