I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
