I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It was confusing and full of hummus
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
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