I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
