this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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