its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
