Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
