Pappa wants mamma naked
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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