I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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