i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
