she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
