my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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