So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
