The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
