I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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