Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
