cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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