Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
