matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize