wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
